


I Couldn't Protect You

by VanillaWafer42



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gen, Hurt Pidge | Katie Holt, Keef is concerned, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Pidge | Katie Holt Angst, Pidge | Katie Holt Whump, Protective Keith (Voltron), Protective Team, byebye, im not, keef also doubts himself, oopsies, somewhat philosophical, thats all the tags i can think of, they're too afraid to hurt her, voltron didnt give pidge enough attention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24493696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanillaWafer42/pseuds/VanillaWafer42
Summary: Being a leader turns out to be a lot harder than Keith thought it would be.My spin on the whole 'Pidge gets tortured' thing with Ezor and Zethrid.
Relationships: Keith & Pidge | Katie Holt
Comments: 9
Kudos: 55





	I Couldn't Protect You

_Being a leader was so much more than shouting commands or making strategies. Leading meant caring for everyone, stepping up to be the bigger person. Leading meant putting the needs of everyone else before yours. Leading meant helping your teammates any way you could._

_But leading also meant protecting them from harm._

_I was a horrible leader._

They had Pidge. Friggin' Pidge.

It was by no means the fact that she was the weakest that scared us. She was quite possibly the toughest and most stubborn. She was sassy and salty. She was our little sister. 

But she was also the smallest. The youngest. Which painted a clear target right on her back.

The rest of us made a silent pact when this whole war started. One that we never spoke of, we never mentioned during any missions, and always kept reminding ourselves about before we departed for anything dangerous. _Keep her safe_.

Pidge was our weak spot. She was our breaking point. If anyone hurt her, they would regret it. All of us would gladly take a hundred bullets for her, no questions asked. 

And now our kidnappers were staring her right in the eye. 

Lance's attempt had been shot down immediately, he was crumpled on the ground off in the corner. The rest of us, as much as we wanted to grab Pidge and protect her from harm, didn't try to imitate him. 

When Ezor grabbed her handcuffs with her long tail, that was when my heart sank.

"Let her go!" I shouted, shifting my weight. My shout of protest did nothing, they shrugged it off. I felt my hands start to shake. They were going to hurt her to get at us. This was not good. 

Pidge squirmed around in the general's grasp, fear written all over her face. Ezor just smirked, letting a little giggle escape her mouth. Anger seethed through my bones, I longed with everything just to punch the living daylights out of her. _No one_ touched Pidge. _No one_ threatened her. and by no means would _anyone_ hurt her. If they did, they would pay the price. 

Ezor slammed Pidge into the wall, earning a small gasp from the young paladin. "Answers!" Ezor shouted, pressing her hand tighter against Pidge's collar. 

"We told you, he's dead!" Shiro said, almost pleading with the two. 

"Yeah, then where have you been all this time? How did you survive the explosion?" Zethrid asked, scanning the crowd. 

"What do you mean? We just battled Lotor in the quintessence field. We used the Castle of Lions to-" Hunk started. 

"Stop it with the lies, okay. You're just going to regret it," Ezor said, pressing harder against Pidge's collar. 

"We're not lying! Please, just let her go!" Allura said. 

"Sorry, I can't really do that. But I can do _this_ ," Zethrid said, ramming her fist right into Pidge's stomach. The girl wheezed, trying to double over. The entire team exploded in shouts and pleads of retaliation. 

"Stop! We aren't lying!" I shouted, stepping closer to the two. 

"Oh really?" Ezor asked, an eyebrow raised. Zethrid threw another harsh blow to the small girl's abdomen. She screamed out in pain. Even more shouts and protests. 

"Please, just don't hurt her," Hunk pleaded, nearly in tears. 

"We d-don't know what you're t-talking about, okay? S-so leave us al-alone," Pidge stammered. 

Zethrid punched again. Again. _Again._

_For all great leaders, times come when decisions are almost impossible to make. You can't choose between two options you hate. Especially when the lives and prosperity of others is at stake. Choosing between people, between lives, between importance, is a decision no one should ever have to make. Many leaders have to know what to do in dire situations when people are looking to them to be able to answer their questions._

_But leading also meant keeping the team together._

_I was a horrible leader._

Every new scream that came from the green paladin shook us down to the core. Our steady stream of begs only got larger, enveloping the room in a deadly aura of words and screams. 

I couldn't get the thought out of my head. They were _using her_ to _get to us_. 

By now a small trail of blood dripped from her mouth. Everyone was practically crying, begging the commanders to _stop_. 

But they didn't listen.

Why wouldn't they listen?

The team knew nothing! They were just hurting Pidge because they could!

Said girl was holding onto consciousness, her head lolling every once and a while. She tried to stay awake to show the rest of us that she was okay, but we knew she wasn't. 

Hunk was balling into Romelle's shoulder, Romelle and Allura were trying to comfort him, Krolia was screaming, Lance was swearing in Spanish, Shiro was pleading, and I was yelling. _Nothing_ worked. 

They just didn't _listen_. 

_A leader is supposed to step for their team. Supposed to lead them in times of despair. They are someone people look to for comfort, stability, trust, focus, and strategy. A leader os respected for their wits and reflexes, and their selflessness. A leader must always put others before themselves, no matter the cost. A leader must also know when sacrifices other then their own must be made for the greater good. Leading means thinking logically and strategically in times when it is essential to survival._

_But leading also meant being there for the teammates._

_I was a horrible leader._

Pidge was hurting. Pidge needed a friend, needed someone to comfort her, tell her that things were going to be okay. But she didn't have that. She probably had three broken ribs instead.

I just wanted them to stop. We didn't know anything that they were talking about. and they just kept  _ hurting _ her. 

Why did they take her?

Why couldn't they have taken me? 

I was the team leader, they should hurt me, right? That seemed logical. But so did pinpricking the weakest point in our team. 

They knew they had broken us.

They were proud.

Zethrid kept punching. Again, and again, and again. Each new blow was followed up by shouts and pleads, begs and cries. She moved from Pidge's stomach to her face, then her arms, then her legs. The poor girls was being beaten to a pulp for no fricking reason. 

"Stop it! We're telling the truth, we swear! Stop hurting her! You're going to kill her!" Shiro shouted, his voice wavering.

"That could be arranged," Ezor cooed, planting a harsh kick to Pidge's face. 

A few more anguished cries left her vocal cords before they fell deathly silent and her body went limp. 

"Pidge!" Hunk screamed, lurching towards his best friend. Zethrid stopped him in his tracks, and Ezor threw the motionless girl onto the ground.

Like a stray foul ball in a baseball stadium, the rest of us leapt to Pidge's side immediately. The generals were smart in letting us move, getting in the way would have been certain doom for both of them.

She was still unresponsive.

I instantly grabbed her wrist, searching for a pulse. I visibly relaxed when I found one. 

Then the room shook, and alarms were heard from outside. Ezor and Zethrid hurried out the door. 

"We need to get out of here.  _ Now _ ," the tone of my voice indicated this was serious. The rest of the team stood up. I scooped Pidge up into my arms, holding her tight to my chest.  _ No one _ was going to hurt her anymore.

I couldn't help but notice how  _ small _ she seemed in my arms. She seemed weak. She seemed vulnerable. She seemed cowardly. 

She was the exact opposite. 

I never told anyone, but I had always been rather impressed with Pidge. Not as impressed as I was with Hunk, but she came in a very close second. When the whole war started, she had lost half of her family. She had lost them to people who didn't care. Just like I had lost Shiro. She came into this war as a 15-year-old. Most girls her age were busy with painting their nails and gossiping about boys. Not fighting evil aliens to bring peace throughout the universe. She had never backed down. She fought with strength and grace, and always put the mission and the needs of others first. She was still looking for her family, but she didn't let that cloud her judgment. She was quite possibly one of the most mature paladins, and she was the youngest. 

And now she was injured.

The one person the entire team silently agreed to keep from harm had taken our fall.

We had failed her.

_ I _ had failed her.

_ Leaders are supposed to comfort their team. They are a beacon of hope, a sliver of light, a chance for retaliation. If a leader is strong and confident, the team is strong and confident. Leaders are supposed to keep morale high. Supposed to encourage, compliment, support. Leading means keeping your head on straight when the world is twisted at your feet. _

_ But leading also meant taking precautions. _

_ I was a horrible leader. _

The healing pod had just enough energy to heal her. 

Barely.

She was lying down in the center of a table in the Green Lion, a peaceful expression on her face. 

The Green Lion was being towed by the Blue Lion, and Yellow was towing Black. No one questioned or objected to my unwillingness to move from her side. Shiro had actually smiled and nodded towards me, encouraging me to stay. 

I needed to be there when she woke up. I had to. 

I hadn't been there for her before, maybe I could be now. 

The rest of the team was quiet. They didn't say anything when they headed off to their Lions, didn't say anything when we flew away, and haven't said anything since. My helmet was long since forgotten on the floor. I didn't want anyone to bother me. If there was something important, I would hear. 

I punched the side of the table. Hard. I felt the pain creep up my knuckles. 

_Good_. 

I had failed as a team leader. One of my teammates was hurt now and I didn't save them. And this wasn't just any teammate, this was _Pidge_. The one smol space bean we all worked extra-hard to keep from harm. 

This was all my fault. 

I should have been more acute, should have come up with a plan, _something_. I could've kept her from harm, and I didn't. I messed up, I messed up bad. 

"I'm so sorry," I choked, glancing up at the motionless girl. "It should have been me, not you. Never you..." my voice trailed off. I shook my head. _How could I have messed up this bad? She got hurt! Because of me!_

My hands trembled, tears threatening to fill my eyes. I just felt so _useless_. If I couldn't protect me team, couldn't protect her, what could I do?

I slammed my fist into the table again. "I should have done more," I whispered, my voice wavering. When did it become so hard to talk? 

I had never really had a family. Here, there were people who really believed in me. The least I could do was keep them from harm.

I can't even do that right.

_ Leading isn't an easy task. Being a perfect leader is impossible, and being a good one isn't far off. Leaders often don't get enough credit for the work they do. They criticize themselves, discourage their actions, all to try and make them a better leader.  _

_ Leading meant believing in yourself as well. _

_ I was a horrible leader.  _

When the pod opened, I was hunched over the entrance before you could say 'Galra'. 

She scrunched her eyebrows, squinting into the ceiling of her lion. 

"Pidge?" I asked, praying for a response. 

"Y-yeah, Keef? Keef is that you?" She mumbled, managing to open her eyes fully. 

I chuckled. "Yep. It's me," I said. It was hard to hide the relief in my voice. I pulled her up into a sitting position, and helped her get out of the pod. She was still pretty weak, and she couldn't really support herself, so she leaned on me and we hobbled over to her bed. 

Once she was safely on her mattress, I sat down on the side of it. 

"How are you feeling?" I asked her.

"Like crap," she said, rolling her eyes. Then she mumbled something. It was barely audible, but I could make out what she said. "Nothing new."

"What?" I couldn't help asking.

"I said 'nothing new'," she said, looking down. 

"What do you mean 'nothing new'?" I asked, confused. 

"Listen, I-I'm sorry. Okay? I really am, I never meant for-" she started rambling.

I cut her off. " _What?_ What on earth do you have to be sorry about?" 

"This whole thing! I should have been paying attention, should have been looking at my scanners, but I was distracted with what had happened before! Getting captured was my fault, and you guys could have gotten hurt."

I almost laughed. _She_ felt bad about getting captured? She had nothing to do with getting captured. None of this was her fault. It was mine. I, as the team leader, should have had my guard raised at all times. 

"What are you talking about? You were the one that turned into a punching bag back there! You...none of this was your fault, okay, it was mine. You got hurt because of me, that's no reason to apologize," I stammered. 

"Your fault? Keith, no one relies on you for help at every beck and call. We're supposed to look out for each other, your plate is no bigger than ours. Don't give yourself the credit for getting us caught, as a leader you were just getting the team ready to go. I was the one on lookout, remember? You were busy. You can't just put the weight of all of us on your shoulders, we can handle a little bit ourselves. Think of yourself for once. When was the last time you complimented your own strategy? I would dare to say all the way back when Shiro was our leader. That's not fair, Keef."

"But I'm supposed to step up for you guys, I'm supposed to protect you."

"Oh, hogwash. We can protect ourselves. You do know that, right?"

"I know, but-"

"No 'but's, you need to look out for _you_. The rest of us are already looking out for ourselves and the rest of the team."

I sighed and looked her in the eye. "Pidge, you got hurt because of me. I-I, that's not okay."

She looked at me. Her eyes met mine. Honey met the Milky Way. "Keef, relax. I'm fine now. Besides, it wasn't very bad-"

"Wasn't very frickin bad? Pidge, she beat you to a pulp. That's pretty bad."  


"Whatever. I'm great now." Then she looked closer. "God, Keef, have you been _crying_?" 

She started laughing. 

"I got the emo kid to show emotion! Life is good!" She cheered, falling back into her pillow. 

"Pidge-"

"Shut up," she said, smiling at me. She looked so _happy_. "You're a great leader, and anyone who says differently deals with the rest of us."

I smiled. 

"MORE EMOTION!!" She squealed, going into another laughing fit. At this point, she was definitely back to normal.

I let out a couple chuckles myself. 

"Well, you should probably get some rest," I told her, standing up. She stuck out her lip.

"But I'm not tired," she whined. 

"Too bad," I said, and started walking away.

"Keef!" She called out. I turned around to face her. 

She smiled warmly. "Thanks for caring."

"Anytime."

As I walked away, her words stuck in my head.

_ We're supposed to look out for each other, your plate is no bigger than ours. _

_ A leader isn't supposed to carry a load all on their shoulders alone. A leader must learn to divide the weight evenly amongst their team. That makes being a leader more bearable. A leader must learn to thrust their teammates with everything, and be there for them when they need a helping hand. A leader is always ready, but also always calm. A leader is accepting and reasonable, even in the most stressful of situations.  _

_ But most importantly, leading isn't a one person job. No leader is ever alone.  _

_ Maybe I'm not too bad of a leader after all. _

**Author's Note:**

> This was my first attempt at a oneshot. Oop.
> 
> I hope it was decent.
> 
> Feedback would be appreciated, thanks for checking out my story!
> 
> Until next time.
> 
> Byuu.


End file.
